Getting back to basics

It's strange.

I started this blog as a way to work out what I feel inside and discover ways to help me go forward in life. The problem is, I got caught up in the idea of writing 'articles' that might help other people and as a result I don't post half as much as I should.

I've also fallen into the habit of ignoring my own personal journaling. I've kept a journal on my laptop that runs back almost 6 years, yet when I glanced at it recently I realize that I haven't made a single entry for 2010.

Talking about how we feel inside isn't easy for lots of us. To a degree its not easy for me either. I only put a fraction of what's really going on in my head into this blog. That comes from a historical desire for some level of privacy and is normal. But in my own personal journal, that sits in a locked file on my personal laptop, I should be able to say whatever the hell I want.

And that's why I said strange at the start of this post. It's almost like I am afraid to really write down what's going on in my head. That sucks, I mean, really, if I can't be honest with myself then who can I be honest with?

So anyway, I intend to begin making more regular blog entries about the things that I am trying to develop into my 'philosophy' of life. I finally realize that despite who I know and how 'strong' or 'together' they may seem, they have their life and I have mine and that's the way it should be.

I had hoped that some kind of collaboration might eventually result from certain relationships that I've cultivated, but that hope is faded into a gray reality. When it comes to writing, I am on my own. So be it.

Time to get back to the basics of the story. Character, situation, plot, dialog and action. I'm never going to be a published author waiting around for someone to guide me through it. I used to believe strongly in the concept of finding a teacher to learn from so that I didn't have to reinvent the wheel at every turn. What I've found is that the best teacher is always your own heart and mind. People come and go out of your life. It's up to you to achieve your goals, no one will EVER do more for you than you will do for yourself.

You just have to be willing to trust what you feel and listen to the smallest voice inside you that never lies.

Peace