It’s been a long time since I posted to this.
Life takes twists and turns that would make the most hardcore rollercoaster rider sick in just a few seconds. My life is no different.
Since I left AT&T a year ago I have been trying with all my might to make my way in the world according to my own rules. This includes a career or business that I have deep passion for. Not just something that I take because it offers a steady paycheck.
For the first time in my life I felt a powerful need for something that was uniquely mine. A way for me to stand up and say that I’d created something that matters.
I’ve had enough examples of people who have made it doing their own thing. People in my personal life and those I’ve read about over the years who decided that the status quo wasn’t enough. It’s easy to go through life working for someone else. It’s less taxing to have others making the decision about what you are going to do every day and how much money they are going to pay you for it. There’s no real struggle in getting up in the morning and clocking in at the job 5 days a week and doing the bare minimum. But, what I wonder is, despite all of that, is there any true joy in conformity?
In my whole 44 years I have only met one man who claims to be completely happy with his job. He says that it gives him everything he could want. It is a job he’s been doing for probably more than 20 years and he sees no reason to look for another one. More power to him.
That’s one person out of several hundred. I've lost count of the blogs on the web by people who are dissatisfied with their jobs or career choices. One woman in particular started a blog that dealt with ways to leave the rat race and find a true calling. Her blog eventually led to a published book and a speaking tour that has made her life just what she wanted it to be. My hat is off to Pamela Slim and the Escape from Cubicle Nation podcast and blog. She was one of my inspirations to follow my dream.
It hasn’t been easy. And it’s far from being over.
I should have spent more time defining just what the goal was before I jumped. I knew that I wanted to work for myself and the clients I chose. I also knew that whatever I did, it would involve writing. I wasn’t completely locked on any one idea, I just wanted to be able to sit down at a keyboard and produce things that people would be able to use to sell their products or market their company. I also should have set an end time to put the dream aside if I realized that I wasn’t getting anywhere.
Within the last few months I’ve managed to make a bit of money that ties directly into the dream. But it’s not enough to live on yet. It’s not really even enough to brag about. But it is progress and gives me the encouragement I need to keep going. I won a contract with a company to produce sales pitches and I’m working with two other companies to develop web content and a business plan.
Momentum is a good thing, especially when it has to do with keeping a dream from turning into a class A nightmare. But I’ll say it again, this hasn’t been easy.
There have been a lot of sleepless nights and anxiety over my choices. A part of the anxiety rises from the fact that I am trying to follow my own path different from the one I was ‘told’ to follow. I’ve always been encouraged to get a good education and then find a company to stay with until I retire. Not once did the words ‘start your own business’ pass anyone’s lips. No one in my family owns their own business. It’s been a tradition for almost everyone to stay with one or two companies until retirement.
I’m trying to build a business so that I can be a model for my children to follow. I don’t really want them graduating from school and just looking for a job. I want them to build something of their own so that their children won’t have to struggle the way I have. Who knows, maybe three generations down the line we will have something that my grandparents dreamed of – a secure future.
I’m trying to build this business for myself as well. I don’t want to be lying on my deathbed with the only accomplishment I can show for my life being that I was on time for work every day, or winning employee of the month 20 years ago…
Another reason for my anxiety is that I chose to try business ownership in one of the worst economies of my life. The powers that be don’t want to use the D word, but I don’t mind calling a spade a spade. This is our (the 21st century version) of the great depression. It’s different from the one in the 30’s, but for all intents a purposes we are in a financial drought that is affecting the entire world.
Companies are laying people off in record numbers and tightening their belts. They really need the help of external contractors but most are so concerned with spending money that they would rather do without. This trend is probably going to continue for some time and since I am essentially a consultant, I have to make the best of the situation. There are people out there who have prospered during this period. I don’t feel that I am any less intelligent than they are. Perhaps I am a bit less skilled in bringing in new business, but that will change with time.
Dictating our path through life is the only real power that we have. You can’t control when you die. You can’t control your family. You can’t control your friends. You can’t control the weather. And you certainly can’t control the company you work for. The best you can do when you work for someone else is keep you head down and hope the axe misses your neck.
If I have to choose between the uncertainty of working for myself and the uncertainty of working for someone else, I’ll take the former every time.
