I’m almost embarrassed to admit this, but one of the things slowing down my ultimate success is fear. Why don’t I want to admit that? Well, because while fear is a normal part of doing business on my own, my fear is based on issues a bit less ordinary.
There is a natural inclination towards being intimidated by people you don’t know. Call it an outgrowth of the survival instinct. Or an extension of living in the projects and treating everyone you meet with a healthy level of suspicion. You just never knew who was safe and who could be dangerous. The best route was to assume everyone was hazardous. There was nothing worse than trusting someone only to have them stab you in the back – several times. Literally – with a knife. Getting jittery was natural.
We tend to move away from situations that could possibly cause pain and contacting a complete stranger to ask them for work (or a date for that matter) is an open invitation to rejection. Rejection is something that humans handle in different ways. You can become used to it and convince yourself that you don’t feel anything. Or you will rebel against that rejection and fight it on every level. There really isn’t a middle ground with this one. Because of how we’re wired, you either fight it or you run away from it.
Some people are better at masking their feelings. They appear as if nothing or no one ever bothers them. They are the supermen or superwomen of the world who bulldoze through any obstacle or opponent that dares challenge them.
More power to those people. I, however, am not in their ranks.
I take a bit slower approach since my personality doesn’t include any bulldozer attachments. I began my company just after leaving a part time job at SunTrust. Everything I did was aimed at letting people know I was out there in a semi-passive way.
I created brochures and business cards. I built my own website. I let people know that I was out there during networking meetings and chamber of commerce events. I sent out sales letters to non-profit organizations offering pro-bono services for a short time (to build my portfolio). I made friends with a few other independent business owners and tried to learn some of the ins and outs from people who’ve been on their own for a while.
But – I did not get on the phone and start willy-nilly calling people. I didn’t walk up to business owners I didn’t know and start my spiel. I never found myself trapped in an elevator with the CEO of XYZ Company. I am not open to that sort of rejection.
Through word of mouth I did get my first assignment. Cool, right? It was a total disaster. Partly because I didn’t define who I was and what I did, and partly because the business owner wanted the world, but didn’t want to pay for it.
That failure and the lack of other initial leads intensified the fear and I found myself wondering if leaving my job had been such a hot idea. I got out the book of lists and tried again with the sales letters. Still kind of passive I know, but at least I was trying something.
Why not just get on the phone and call a lot of people? Let me explain my issue with the phone.
I have spent the last 19 years in jobs that feature heavy phone contact with the public or internal employees. I have been screamed at. Called out my name. Treated as though I weren’t human. Now, granted, having people scream at me probably shouldn’t have gotten to me. I should have just let it roll off my back like it didn’t matter. I should have let some of the acid comments, condemnations and pure hatred just run in one ear and out the other, right? That might have worked if I wasn’t the person I am. I love helping people. That’s all I’ve ever really done. Help others. I wouldn’t take customer service jobs if I didn’t like helping. So to have that thrown back in my face hurt. It’s never fun to be trying to solve a problem and have a person spit on you.
Customer service is a fascinating world full of ‘interesting’ people. Some are there to help and some are there for the paycheck. No matter the reason for taking the job I fully understand why folks on the other end of the line sometimes act like they don’t care when you call to get something taken care of or fixed. Humans aren’t very fond of being treated like dirt, and it only takes a little while to turn a caring, trusting person into a raging asshole. Clark Howard likes to complain about customer service people, I’d like to see him do the job for 18 years just to see if he’d get it…
When I left AT&T I swore to myself that before I ever got another customer service job, I would shoot myself in the face. My hatred of the telephone extends into my private life. The phone can ring in the house and I will only look at it.
I could be three inches away, but if I don’t recognize the number as a friend, family or client, I will let it go to voice mail. I always call right back, especially if it is a client. But the odds of getting me on the first ring are slim. I do a gut check every time the phone rings. It’s become an involuntary muscle response.
That’s why something like cold calling won’t work for me. Hell, I’m not even fond of being on the phone with people I know.
My methods are going to have to remain what bulldozer people would call ‘passive’ for now. Networking meetings, sales pitches via letter or email, chamber of commerce business events, word of mouth, my web site and the HC newsletter. That sort of thing. Until I develop those muscles that allow me to do it the other way, it’s all I have to work with.
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